Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Save Yourself!
*Disclaimer*: This blog series will be real, blunt, and there may be an occasional curse word. I am an honest person to my core. If you can’t handle conviction, then rethink proceeding with this series. However, you’re probably the one who needs to be reading it.
So! I’ve decided with the little time I have and being a single woman, I would start a blog series titled “Single, Saved, and Celibate”. It’s been on my heart for a while now and if I don’t know anything else, I know that when God says, “SPEAK”, I tell it! Straight. No chaser. No filter. Raw and real. As a celibate woman, it will take an entire series plus more for me to tell you about not only my life, but the act of being celibate in today’s culture. So, let’s begin this journey. Pay attention. You might learn something.
Celibacy – the state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations, specifically for religious reasons.
Notice it says, “FOR RELIGIOUS REASONS”. Meaning this isn’t temporary, no you can’t change my mind, and I take my Christian faith very, VERY seriously. I’m really considering responding to DM’s, “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?” Watch me.
Now I’m not virgin. TRUST ME! I’m faaaaaaaar from a virgin (read Troubled and you’ll see). This is not to condemn those who choose to have premarital sex. I DID! But it is never too late to change. I’ve gotten questions on celibacy more than I can count. So here you go!
I took the wonderful (yet hard as hell) vow of celibacy on February 8, 2015. For better or worse, in sickness and health, til marriage do us part. That’s three years in the game (in three weeks) fam! Which means three things:
- I’m obviously an outcast at 25.
- I don’t have time for your shenanigans, so come correct.
- I’m pretty experienced in this whole celibacy game.
I’ve tried to find books that cater to celibate and SINGLE people. I got nothing. All I’ve read is “I was celibate, but now I’m happily married” books such as, The Wait. While I loved these books, it’s not helpful to someone is currently “going through the celibate struggle”. So, in the words of the great Toni Morrison, “If there’s a book you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” We all know I can and will write a book about this, but I was led in a different direction this time.
Celibacy is the greatest decision I have ever made. I’m not miserable. I don’t regret it. Most of all, it has brought me closer to God and my goals. You think I could’ve accomplished publishing two books, starting a nonprofit, and becoming an entrepreneur (shameless plug here) if I was chasing some man and “dick-matized” by some low life. Ehhh…maybe. But it would’ve taken me much longer. I get distracted by lust and good sex. It has ruined me in the past and I refuse to let it ruin my future.
To my ladies: Save Yourself! Even if you’re not a virgin, you can still choose celibacy until marriage. It is the way God intended and I PROMISE YOU it will bring you blessings you didn’t even see coming. You are worth so much my Queen. God created you and your body is not your own. Respect it. Be stingy. Tell that man NO! I’ve done it for three years. My friends call me lonely, but check my resume though! I am more happy now than I’ve ever been my 25 years of life. Plus celibacy will weed out all of the “bullshit men” real quick. Stand by your decision my love.
To my fellas: Oh ya’ll mad? Too bad. Most of you will hate that I’m influencing women to “hold out”. You may call me bitter or whatever, but trust me you’ll thank me one day. Men are not excluded from celibacy. You claim to want a “good woman”, but you aren’t ready to accept what comes with that. Your body isn’t your own either, it’s God’s body. So hate me or not, but listen to what I’m saying and see if you don’t view dating, commitment, and love differently. That girl whose DM’s you sliding in may one day be your wife and if she’s anything like me, oh boy you better bring you’re A-game King!
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