All in Single Saved & Celibate

Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Yes...Oral Sex is Sex Too

Disclaimer: If you are under age, one of those people who can’t read or talk about sex as if it’s not a part of human life, or a “Super Christian” whose mouth drops open when someone says sex of any type and all things related: don’t read past this line and if you do well…read at your own risk.

My dear readers, celibate siblings, and those in between…

It’s been almost a month since I’ve posted in the enlightening Single, Saved, and Celibate Series. Between conviction and commitment, this blog post has taken a little longer than usual. Fret not! I am here now and I am ready to dive into to this very complicated, opinionated topic.

When I first began my road to celibacy, I tried to find loopholes. It’s like I wanted everything except vaginal sex. I wanted oral sex or “head” as we sometimes call it. I wanted to kiss, cuddle, foreplay, all-a-dat. So, I did. Oral sex wasn’t frequent for me, but that devil was surely present.

Okay right here is when people hit me with the, “Aww you’re not really celibate! You might as well just have sex” line.

Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Engagment Is Not Marriage

FIRST, HAPPY THREE-YEAR CELIBACY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

It’s been a looonnngggg time coming. Cheers to the unknown number of years to come.

I’ve often received the question, of course from inquiring men studying the vow that I’ve taken, “What if you get engaged? Will you have sex with your fiancé since you know you guys are going to be married?”

No!

My answer is always no. There are no “work-arounds” to celibacy. The celibate vow is until marriage. Marriage has been entered after the Officiant says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Then and only then will my celibate journey end. Just because you are engaged to someone doesn’t give a 100% guarantee you’ll get married.

 

Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Fighting Temptation

Satan is that you?

I usually say this statement to myself when I feel like I am being tempted. Whether it be through a fine, delicious looking man or something else I know I can’t have. You see the devil tempts everyone differently. The seed of your temptation is planted in your weaknesses. My weakness, for a long time, was men. If you’ve read my first book, Troubled, you will remember that nearly every chapter was a new man and a new heartache.

Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Honesty is Key!

While I don’t recommend just blurting out “I’m celibate!” to every man you meet, I do believe that it should be said upfront before the friendship gets too far or you get stuck in that awkward moment of what would be intimacy. By telling a man you’re celibate before the conversation of sex and intimacy takes place, you make the assumption that all men want sex from you. While this is true 90% of the time, it can be rude to someone who doesn’t have sex on the brain.

 

Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: There's No Them in You

Today’s blog post for the Single, Saved, and Celibate Series was requested by an Instagram follower and I think that it is VERY important to speak on.

Peer Pressure!

So, you’ve made the choice to become celibate in today’s society filled with SEX. You MUST be crazy! You’re weird. Who does that? I’ve gotten those comments along with many others. I’m fortunate enough in life to not care about people’s opinions of me or my choices. I look at like this. It’s MY LIFE! Are you Maranda Moné Evans born on September 1, 1992 to Randy Evans and Melissa Pickens? No. Are you the God who wakes me up every morning? No.

 

Single, Saved, and Celibate Series: Save Yourself!

I’ve tried to find books that cater to celibate and SINGLE people. I got nothing. All I’ve read is “I was celibate, but now I’m happily married” books such as, The Wait. While I loved these books, it’s not helpful to someone is currently “going through the celibate struggle”. So, in the words of the great Toni Morrison, “If there’s a book you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” We all know I can and will write a book about this, but I was led in a different direction this time.